'It’s heartbreaking and also completely unsustainable': 16-year-old Bengal’s midnight meows leave her pawrents torn between love and exhaustion as they search for a solution

Author image for Sarah Brown
Sarah Brown • Writer and Editor
Jul 29, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

This cat parent is facing a purrplexing dilemma: a 16-year-old Bengal with a meowssive case of separation anxiety. Ever since the boyfriend moved in, the bedroom door stays closed at night, and the feline drama has reached catastrophic levels. Starting around 2 a.m., their high-strung, vocal kitty unleashes a symphony of yowls. So intense her voice goes hoarse. The humans, meanwhile, are feline frazzled, fueled by earplugs, white noise, and a growing pile of neighbor complaints.

Despite trying clawver solutions like bedtime play, cozy sleep spots, meds, and even a feline frenemy foster experiment, nothing has quieted the nightly opera. This poor cat mom, a recent college grad living in a clawstrophobic NYC apartment, is torn between love for her senior cat and her own unraveling sanity. She's tried to make it work, pawsitively everything short of speaking cat, but she's running on empty.

Now, with a rehoming option that feels less than ideal, she's stuck between a rock and a hard purrlaced. It's a heart-wrenching scenario, and she's desperately seeking advice from anyone who's ever felt the purrils of feline night shifts.

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  • 01
    'She's been yowling outside the door nonstop from around 2am to 7am'
    via Ishman000 from Pixabay / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    My cat is 16 years old and has had intense separation anxiety for her entire life. She's a Bengal, and extremely vocal and high- strung. A year ago, my boyfriend moved in, and he can't sleep with her in the bedroom, she paces, jumps, and keeps us up all night.
    via Vast_Entertainer8111
  • 03
    So we started closing the bedroom door, and since then, she's been yowling outside the door nonstop from around 2am to 7am, to the point that her voice gets hoarse. It's heartbreaking and also completely unsustainable.
    via Vast_Entertainer8111
  • 04
    We live in a tiny, overpriced one- bedroom in NYC, no spare rooms, no extra space. We sleep with earplugs and maxed-out white noise, and our neighbors have complained multiple times to the landlord. We're both sleep- deprived and struggling at work, and I get serious anxiety when she starts meowing because I know what's coming.
    via Vast_Entertainer8111
  • 05
    Cheezburger Image 10535375360
    via Photocreo / Canva

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  • 06
    She's been to the vet, clean bill of health, not deaf or blind, and she's spayed. She was prescribed gabapentin and is currently on the highest dose, but it hasn't helped at all. We've tried playing with her every night before bed, the Feliway diffuser, creating a cozy sleep area far from the bedroom, feeding and dosing her at bedtime (11pm),
    via Vast_Entertainer8111
  • 07
    Cheezburger Image 10535375104
    via dotshock / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 08
    and ignoring the crying, but nothing works. I've ended up just sitting up with her in the middle of the night to calm her down, or trying to sleep upright while she settles. It's been a year of this, and I'm honestly losing it. We also fostered another cat with my current cat to see if that would help, and that did not help, as they hated each other and would fight all night.
    via Vast_Entertainer8111
  • 09
    I'm starting to look into rehoming, but the only person willing to take her has a dog and said my cat would need to be kept in the bathroom until the cat and the dog get along, which they definitely won't, and this doesn't feel fair or right.
    via Vast_Entertainer8111
  • 10
    I love her so much, but I don't know what else to do. I'm trying to be responsible and kind to her while also protecting my own mental health and relationship. Has anyone been through anything similar with a senior cat? Is there anything left to try before I consider rehoming or worse?
    via Vast_Entertainer8111
  • 11
    Edit: Since I'm getting a lot of hate in the comments, I was 5 years old when my parents were gifted the cat. This is my first apartment as I just graduated from college. In college, I didn't care about sleep.
    via Vast_Entertainer8111
  • 12
    boxdkittens If the cat has that much energy at night, she needs to be taken for walks. Only thing that worked for my cat. Was very easy to train her to understand that: letting me put the harness on + getting into stroller = glorius outside time. Notably she is not a bengal but is extremely annoying if she doesnt get her daily dose of outside.
    via boxdkittens

  • Might be worth grabbing a cat harness and leash to explore the streets of NYC together. It’s a pawsome way to keep her safe while satisfying her curiosity and getting some fresh air!

  • 13
    CABB2020 If the meowing got worse after she started gabapentin, it may be a side effect and she may be sensitive to it. Gabapentin is a gnarly drug even for humans.
    via CABB2020
  • 14
    for cats at high doses it can cause them difficulty with balance/walking and yes, major behavioral changes like increased meowing, aggression, anxiety.
    via CABB2020
  • 15
    maybe check with your vet on another drug or consider cbd/feliway. If you do decide to switch, be really careful weaning her off the gabapentin as it can't be stopped cold turkey or it can cause withdrawal seizures if she's been taking it awhile.
    via CABB2020
  • 16
    Imaginary_Love3... A Bengal in a one bedroom apartment? Maybe she's bored. Have you tried interactive toys, putting birds on the tv at night, giving her cbd or asking your vet? I'm sure there's a behaviorist you can reach out to.
    via Imaginary_Love3307
  • 17
    North_Side2540 Gabapentin is not a good drug for all cats. We tried with one of ours years ago and it made him crazy. There are other options. GABA is more for pain. We have a different cat on it for pain but a very low dose.
    via North_Side2540
  • 18
    Anyway, there are anti anxiety meds. Also I would 100% let the cat back in the bedroom. Also try the plug in feliway things for longer periods, if you haven't already. Give it time to work before you give up on it.
    via North_Side2540
  • 19
    PicklesHL7 She's lonely and doesn't understand why she can't be in the room with you. Let her back in the room. Give her toys to entertain her while you are asleep.
    via PicklesHL7
  • 20
    twirling_daemon If she's always been allowed to sleep with you until the bf moved in and became the priority it's highly unlikely she will ever settle at her age suddenly, unfairly being shut out on her own Understandably
    via twirling_daemon

  • If a big hooman took our spot, we’d be upset too! She’s just making sure everyone knows she’s not thrilled about the new roommate situation. Loud and clear, with all the feels!

  • 21
    Alfredobreadbowl... I dont wanna be that person but just let her sleep with you. She sounds like she has dementia. Him being bothered by an animal youve had this long thats yearning. just to be by you is not the best sign. Personally my cats come before literally any human
    via Alfredobreadbowl0827
  • 22
    brandoldme I'd rehome the boyfriend before I even ever considered the thought of rehoming my cat. Are cats more important than humans? That's not really the point. My cat was here first. I made a lifelong
    via brandoldme
  • 23
    commitment to him. It will be unfortunate if some human comes into my life and doesn't have a positive relationship with my cat. But as long as this cat is alive, I owe this cat a responsibility. And therefore that human would just have to deal with it or remove themselves from the situation.
    via brandoldme

  • Rehoming her especially at her age doesn’t feel right. If the issues began when the boyfriend moved in, maybe there’s something deeper going on that needs to be addressed first.

  • 24
    coccopuffs606 She's bored out of her skull. Bengals are basically Malinos in cat form; they need a ton of exercise and stimulation, or they go insane. Either figure out how to incorporate that into her life, or surrender her to a Bengal rescue
    via coccopuffs606
  • 25
    Negative-Fig9687 You love her so much you're going to rehome her. If nothing else works.... That shouldn't be an option at all, your cat is old and would be more stressed if you rehomed her.
    via Negative-Fig9687

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boyfriend girlfriend advice feline Cats sleeping cat owners pawrents
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